About how long this week has been. Two sick kids, one on steroids, a sick man, 4 wisdom teeth, 2 bottom teeth, and a lot of gratitude and struggles over my older kiddo and her amazing teacher. I'm standing in front of a giant can of worms and I'm glad I'm not standing here alone but the cans gotta be opened, I can't be in denial about it much longer.....deep breathing. I could use a pre-can massage because it may get bumpy!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
So my sweet, rambunctious five and a half (as she would point out) year old has started school....of course that has left me with the typical mom anxiety and tears, and...wait for it...."free" time. I've thus far spent it:
* grocery shopping with a blissful smile and completely relaxed demeanor
* meal prepping...I know, I'm bat shit crazy! Particularly since my oven is broken and I did it in a countertop roasting oven!!! I was so wiped out the next day that I turned into a log and sat on my awesomely fat ass all day watching episode after episode of Revolution on Netflix.
*cleaning and rearranging the kids playroom....this took me an ENTIRE school day.
So now its Monday again I have 5 baskets of laundry staring at me..and all I want to do is sit here naked with my toddler and watch Harry Potter movies all day. I guess I'll throw on some yoga pants and do both, but I'd rather just ignore the laundry!
Friday, October 19, 2012
T and I are happily together, we've even had a new baby girl! She's now 4 months old, cloth diapered, breastfed (exclusively as she will be until about a year old and she wont be weaning until she's ready), and was born in an awesome natural birth that would have been at home if my midwife wasnt under hospital contract. Natalie is an amazing big sister and Rosalie loves her! I am still a sahm, only now I'm a wahm...I am the working mama behind NalaPosies Boutique which is running a giveaway right now so enter!!!!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, December 13, 2010
Still addicted to coffee in an obsessive kind of way and my kid is driving me crazy with the whining...but I know its because its too yucky to go out and play and she just has too much energy. I feel bad about it really.
thats about all.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Since my last update, T and I are doing well and I have put in a request to work only 3 days a week...that way I can still have 4 days to take care of my house and my kid and my relationship. But getting out of the house 3 days a week is good for me.
other than that, not much has changed...sorry to disappoint.
Monday, October 11, 2010
I am also seriously reconsidering whether or not I am meant to be working. It just doesnt feel right. I feel like my home life is falling apart, my relationship is getting better, but my house is falling apart at the seems! All the major housework has been neglected. I'm not even cooking, doing laundry, or dishes anymore. I'm also concerned that I'm not getting this job, like its not a good fit for me. I wanted it to be, and I plan to still work hard at it, but something about it just feels wrong. I dont want to quit, I dont like to quit...at anything. Quitting isn't really my style...but if it doesnt start feeling right soon, I think that I might reconsider being a stay at home mom...and this time it wont be because I got thrown into it, but because being a mom feels right to me for now.
However, being a sahm means staying here and making my relationship with T work, it means not moving out, it means making the choice to spend...possibly the rest of my life...with this person. Looking back over our relationship thus far I am realizing where I was at fault, and where he was at fault and what needs to happen to make it work. I'm not saying it would be perfect, but I can see how a few simple steps in the right direction on both of our parts might make a huge difference. I can see life moving forward in a way that makes us both happy....but I'm not sure we are capable of that on our own. I dont know.
I know it sounds like I have made a decision, but I really haven't. I'm afraid to make a decision so quickly. I'm afraid I will stop working, and we will move right back into our usual ways and I will have to start all over. God this is scary. I dont know what to do! If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.
I'm afraid I am also making excuses and settling for less....but maybe its a blessing in disguise? Maybe this is the life I need to live to get somewhere more firm? I know I need him, and I think he needs me. I know Natalie needs us both. I know that I want certain things in life and that I can get there in time no matter which direction I chose to follow... but which one will be more fulfilling? Which one will let me look back on my life and know that I made the right decision? What would Shirley McClain do? lol.
I do my best thinking in the shower...I will take a nice long shower tomorrow and think on this some more. Again...any advice is welcome! Thanks!