I have bookoos of ideas of blogs full of silly wisdom for young girls, because there are many things I struggled with on my path to become who I am and I feel its VITAL that girls be told some of this information. Things like:
You are beautiful, I dont care what size you are, how big your boobs are, how gangly your legs are...at least 3 people in this world think you are gorgeous...and you will soon discover that its more than 3 of us!
Stop buying face wash, after years of having horrible horrible horrible acne on the vast majority of my body, I can tell you that you are doing it wrong! Stop buying acne products! I will expand on this later!
Google Red Tent Movement, find one near you...connect with those women and go to a tent! They may look like a bunch of hippie freaks, but they are deeply connected with having been where you are and have successfully moved themselves through life towards a very confident and happy place as a woman, the support you will find there is beyond measure!
Tell your mom thank you, I know that I personally found this very very hard to do, and still occasionally struggle with letting go of our differences and our very turbulent past in order to thank her...but I do thank her, because she did the best she could with the information that she had at the time. No matter how much of it wasnt "good", she tried...I didnt come with instructions and I am a huge pain in the ass, even now...raising me must have been a tough and thankless job. You, young reader, have no idea what all your mom went through to get you where you are now, so for all the nights that she sat up with you while you had coughing fits, for all the fevers, and the times you told her that you hated her, for the times when she told you to go play so she could regain her sanity and not actually murder you or sell you...she deserves a Thank You. So just say it...even better, buy a thank you card and MAIL it to her. She gets nothing but bills and junk mail, a thank you card would make her cry lol. Add a handprint for extra tears, we are a sucker for the reminder that you were once teeny tiny.
Dont kegel, just dont. Do squats instead. You dont even need to do a ton a day, just a few...knees behind your toes at all times, back straight, core tight....squat!
Dont hate adults who try to help, do you know who takes time out of their lives to help teenagers? Adults who were total shit head teenagers...because we get it, we understand, when no one else does...we do! Trust me, we've struggled a LOT in our lives...and we really just want you to know that you dont have to feel so alone, it doesnt have to feel like life is kicking your ass, and most importantly...its soooooo temporary, so let us help you over the "humps" til you get your shit together. I drove past some community center for youth yesterday that had some desperately cheesy and hopeful name and I wanted to gag..I remember seeing those signs and the angst I felt, then I realized that I wanted to pull in and volunteer...wtf???? oh yeah, its because I get it! I see now how shitty it felt to have it forced, but I also now get why they force it..because theres actually a light at the end of the tunnel...THERES A FUCKING LIGHT!!! Dont forget it!
Drink Red Raspberry Leaf tea if you have cramps like a mother! I wish someone had told me sooner! Its yummy and works like a miracle!
Question everything, learn as much as you can, and write everything down...journal daily.
Wear pants that fit and flatter your body, even if the size isnt what you want it to be, trust me when I tell you it looks a hell of a lot better than squeezing into pants that make you look like a busted can of biscuits. Oh and no one knows what size you wear except you, and guess what, there's no law saying you have to tell anyone either.
Want to be thin despite all my accept yourself speeches? Then you need to decide right now to make a lifestyle change and do 3 things: eat clean, do 20 mins of cardio a day, and do exercises that target your whole body.
You need to know something very important too: dont wash with anything other than regular (NOT antibacterial) soap and water, everyone has nipple hair...we pluck it, its okay to shave or not shave...what do YOU want??? Ive never had anyone turn me down just because I didnt shave, no one has ever complained at all actually... Oh yeah, that reminds me, its okay to have lots and lots of sex and with lots of people or with just one...its your choice because its your body, but remember 3 things:
1)be safe, always be safe...I know condoms arent as much fun, but you really dont want to be a full time mom yet and you really dont want hpv. So just be safe!
2)the person you are with is very very highly unlikely to be the same person you are with in a year, much less 5 or 10 years...just think about that before you go making big promises or believing big promises.
3) do you know what an o face looks like? its not pretty 90% of the time, whomever you are letting "diddle you" is going to see your o face if they dont suck too much...they are going to see you at your most vulnerable state, and you get to decide if they are worthy of that...not them, not your mom and dad, not your best friend...YOU. NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE IN CHARGE, you and only you can say yes, and you can say no!!! Rape is a very real thing, and boys are not taught not to rape...so you have to put your foot down and make sure you make yourself heard if they even attempt to do something you dont want. Learn self defense and beat the shit out of anyone who doesnt take no for an answer.
okay, my daughters need their mom now, so I'm going to run...but please know that I am here if you read this and realize you need a friend. :)
oh and be a good person. Just be a good person, you dont have to be perfect, but dont be shitty to people.